Cutting Loose

[Ethel Sherman]

Cutting Loose, by Marion Woods (http://spectrum-headquarters.com/fanfic/cutting_loose.htm)

Let me begin by saying that I enjoyed this story very much. On the face of it, nothing much happens – it’s a fairly standard story of a couple breaking up, but with an interesting background of espionage, and, of course, of the reader knowing who Karen Wainwright is going to become. It was a nice plot device to have the narrative taking place on two birthdays to illustrate the central point of life moving on.

In my previous paragraph, I said that the reader knows who Karen Wainwright is going to become. One of the pitfalls of fan-fiction is familiarity with the characters – how much familiarity should we assume, on the part of the reader? The Captain Scarlet fandom has an issue which doesn’t affect all that many fandoms – there are two, almost separate, sets of fans: one of the original 1960s series, and one of the new series. We also have to consider non-fans who might surf onto the Spectrum Headquarters site and look at the stories. How far should we go to accommodate people who don’t know the characters very well or indeed at all? Having raised this point, I’m going to knock it down – I don’t think we need to make much accommodation at all. Non-fans are unlikely to read the stories in the first place, and fans of New Scarlet have the resources of the Headquarters website to answer any questions they might ask about the original series. What is important is that the story itself, as a self-contained unit, conveys enough information, without info-dumping, for the reader to get a handle on who these people are.

We learn a lot about Karen and Clayton in the first part of this story. We know that they both work for the Universal Secret Service; that they are in a relationship; that Clayton is older than Karen, of a higher rank, and somewhat manipulative; Karen is young, rather fiery, but with the maturity and talent to rise above the perceived disadvantage of her age and gender to make a successful career – IF she is allowed to. What happens when she is NOT allowed to, forms the main thrust of this story, and at the same time gives us a very good idea of why Karen Wainwright is destined to become Symphony Angel.

The final scene made me smile. The ever-so-slightly overblown description of Captain Blue beautifully illustrates Karen’s ‘hopelessly romantic’ streak and also, dare I say, hints at a certain partiality on Marion’s part? Just one thing was missing – can we assume that the Tree is standing in the corner of Symphony’s quarters?

What made this story strong for me was the realism of the characters. I don’t recall a Clayton Deakin from the series, so I’m assuming that he’s an original character, but an original character well-painted in economical strokes. We know this man. By the end of the story, we also know Karen. Gerry Anderson was never strong on backstory for the characters, but Marion has filled in the gaps and made Karen/Symphony into a three-dimensional person we can relate to.

There’s only one scene that doesn’t quite work for me. The final goodbye between Clayton and Karen didn’t ring as true as the rest of the story. At the back of my mind, I wanted Clayton to be more hurt, less forgiving, and perhaps even a little spiteful – throwing the store vouchers at her rather than giving them. However, I’m perfectly happy to concede that this is a purely personal reaction on my part, and is therefore more a shortcoming in this reader than in the writer.

On the technical side – Marion, your beta-reader missed a couple of small errors:
‘…She was intelligent, resourceful, ambitious and assertive; and add to that the fact that she was also attractively built, blonde, beautiful…’: The ‘and’ after the semi-colon is unnecessary.
‘…they only had one thing on – what passed for – their minds…’: the dashes are unnecessary
‘…And you let him and the panel stitch me up?...’ and ‘…“I must be going mental, talking to a plant and expecting an answer...”…’: I’m not sure that ‘stitch me up’ and ‘going mental’ are in the Iowan vernacular.
These are very minor nit-picks though. The writing was fluent, convincing and easy to read, something which no beta can put there, if it’s not there already.

Altogether, a lovely story from a very talented writer. I look forward to reading a lot more of Marion’s work.

[Marion]

Thank you, Ethel Sherman, for that in-depth review. Feedback and then some...
I have two points I'd like to mention at this stage.
Firstly, I generally do say that 'any mistakes in the story are mine' - and I would not blame my beta-reader for anything amiss in this one, especially as I did say in the Author's notes:

All mistakes in the text are mine.

If you knew what she had to cope with before it's ready to post, you'd sympathise and be amazed that was ALL you found. I am a b***er for slipping in dashes where they don't belong.
Secondly, I accept whole-heartedly that I cannot write 'American'. My grasp of their vernacular is limited to exposure to TV shows and working with stockbrokers - and I don't watch much TV and no longer work for the stock-brokers. I apologise.
Finally, as anyone who knows me in person or through the Forum will tell you - I am as partial as Hell... and a devout worshipper at Svenson's Shrine.

[Marion]

Ethel Sherman asked:

can we assume that the Tree is standing in the corner of Symphony’s quarters?

I gave this some thought... my initial reaction was 'Yes!', but then I thought - wait a minute; Cloudbase's personnel quarters don't have big windows - in some cases they only have daylight reflected from mirrors, according to the books anyway - so the poor old Tree would soon be in a sorry state!
On the whole, I think if the Tree is anywhere on Cloudbase, it is up on the Promenade Deck, keeping Colonel White's roses company. And, after all, Symphony does seem to spend a lot of her spare time up there, usually with a gentleman friend, no doubt indulging in some Tree hugging...