CHAPTER 3:

BY LYDIA SHERIDAN
Wow
Elaine,
you look terrible.
Gee,
thanks
Ochre sighed, carefully massaging the back of her neck
with one hand. It was stiff, and ached. She sat down, and crossed one leg over
the other.
Sorry.
Its just youve got these
massive purple shadows under your eyes, and youre all
pasty.
Do you feel okay? Lieutenant Silver gazed at
Ochre, her head on one side and concern written on her face.
Youre
not very subtle, are you? Im fine. Just didnt
get any sleep, thats all. So stop worrying,
please.
For
how many days? Its making you look kind of
ill, this lack of sleep.
Just
just
a few. Elaine told a white lie. It had been going on for
quite a while longer than a few days.
Aww
Silver got up and walked round the back of Ochres chair. The
Captain felt Silvers freezing cold hands on her
neck, before she hit her hard.
Ouch!
I was just trying to help you! Give you a break from messing with your own
neck! Silver cried, stroking her sore hand.
Stop being so melodramatic
sorry, though. I just dont
like people touching me there. And I dont know where your
hands have been.
Looking slightly
offended, even though she knew Ochre had been gently teasing, Silver sat back
down on the sofa, still nursing her hand. There was a short amount of time
where Ochre simply turned her head this way and that, trying to ease the
aching. It didnt work. Silver suddenly
spoke up.
Why
couldnt you sleep? Who were you with?
Beth,
just because I couldnt sleep doesnt
mean I was with someone. Since when have I, ever, been with anyone on this
base?
Yeah,
I guess youre right. Why couldnt you sleep then?
Ochre turned and
glared at her. A second later she wished she hadnt, as her neck
gave a particularly painful twinge. She winced, her teeth gritted, before
practically shouting, Its none of your
business why I couldnt sleep, so get off my case!
Silver looked
like a rabbit caught in headlights, her eyes wide.
Fine
She muttered after a pause, before picking up a brightly coloured magazine from
the floor and disappearing behind it. Ochre didnt regret her
outburst one bit.
Serves her right
for prying into it, she thought irritably, looking sulky.
Someone entered
the Lounge. Ochre didnt have time to turn her head
in that direction - with resounding clicks - because Green identified herself
straight away, by loudly, and happily, calling
Hey
Beth! Hey Elaine! Whoa, you look-
Terrible,
I know.
Green gave her a
rueful smile and sat down by Silver. She grabbed a corner of the magazine and
gasped. God, shes looking big. Is
she pregnant?
No,
not as far as anyone knows. Shes just gained loads.
Remember she broke-up with that Pablo a few weeks ago?
Whos
he?
Model.
You know, the nice one with the blonde streak in his hair and the silver
earring? Hes been all over the papers recently, parading a new
girlfriend round.
I
remember now! Hes really gorgeous, isnt
he? What does he see in that little blonde tart?
Oh,
good Lord
Ochre got up and left the Observation Lounge, as
Green and Silver eagerly started to discuss the infamous celebrities.
There was nowhere
really to go. With the two Lieutenants doing impressions of teenage gossipers
in the Lounge, and a distinct lack of hunger which ruled the canteen out as
well, Ochre started back to her quarters to try and catch up on some sleep. She
had only gained about an hours worth last night, and
about as much the seven or so nights before that.
Rubbing her eyes,
she attempted to squeeze between Blue and Scarlet, who were strolling, spread
out, down the corridor. Blue grabbed her arm, and she came to an abrupt halt.
Hey,
slow down, Elaine. Do you want to
what happened to you? You
look-
Why
does everyone keep saying that?! She wrenched her arm free,
and set off again at a quicker pace, scowling.
Scarlet and Blue
watched her as she hurried away. When shed turned the
corner, Scarlet dared to ask his colleague, Whats
wrong with her? Shes kind of tetchy.
I
dont know. I just feel sorry for the rest of us. They
may be relatively rare, but her bad moods last for ages
Grinning, Scarlet
led the way into the Lounge. Green looked up, her smile widening when she saw
who he was accompanied by.
Hey
Paul, hey Adam
Silver gave them a fleeting glance before returning
to her magazine. Blue gave Green a questioning look, and she replied, Celebs.
He raised his
eyebrows. Right
-x-x-x-
Ochre was pacing
her room. It was slightly later, and, although shed changed into
her sleep gear, she hadnt even tried to get to
sleep. She was sure it would be pointless.
Suddenly, on an
impulse, she strode over to her bookshelf, grabbed her photo album, and flicked
through it, until shed got to a picture of four
people, three girls and a boy.
Her grinning,
brown-haired brother was tightly hugging Ochres twelve year old
self, who was smiling slightly, her long, chestnut hair blowing in the wind.
Two of her teeth were missing, and she was clutching her right wrist so firmly
her knuckles were turning white. A stony-faced eighteen year old, her sister,
stood apart from them, her bright blue eyes fixed on her younger siblings, a
purplish bite mark apparent on her arm.
A slim, defeated
looking woman was standing behind the younger two. Although her cheeks were
hollow and nose crooked, she showed signs of long lost beauty. Thick, wavy fair
hair, full lips and a good figure.
Ochre slammed the
book shut, threw it to one side and started pacing again.
Distract
yourself, distract yourself. Stop thinking about them. Stop it Elaine.
She couldnt.
She just couldnt. What had become of them?
Shed lost them all those years ago.
Her door buzzer
went, making her jump in shock. Aware that she was only in her night clothes,
she paused. Another ring. She walked over and timidly pressed the door release,
hoping it wasnt a man. Seeing her in her current state would be
embarrassing.
It was Captain
Magenta. He looked her up and down, smirking, one eyebrow raised. Interrupting
something, am I?
Yes.
I mean no. I mean
why are you here?
I
heard from Adam and Paul that you were in a bad mood. I came here to see why.
God,
do you have to interfere in everything? Does it matter if I am? Im
not anyway! She folded her arms across her chest, and stared at
him defiantly, pouting her lips, her brow furrowed. He refrained from answering
Yes, you are. Instead, he just
smiled at her.
Whats
wrong, eh? Ill tell you mine if you tell me yours.
You
know already. I told you yesterday
reluctantly. You
forced me to.
Elaine,
please. You know, deep down, that I didnt force you. And
theres something new anyway. You werent
all
angry, yesterday. Angsty, yes, but not angry
Ochre turned away
from him and frowned to herself. She hated to admit that Magenta was right.
He waited for her
to make her decision. After a minute, she muttered, Just shut up and
get inside.
Magenta strolled
through, smiling, pleased with himself. Ochre rooted around in her wardrobe for
a while, then disappeared into the bathroom, her arms full of clothes, to get
changed. Magenta stopped himself from going through her CD collection or books,
and sat down on the seat next to her bed. As the minutes passed, he wished
again and again that women didnt take about five centuries
to get changed.
Finally, at long
last, Ochre emerged, dressed in a white v-necked t-shirt and low-cut black
jeans. As this was quite plain, shed added several
thin, coloured bangles, and a silver necklace with an inset red stone.
As she sat down
on her bed, Magenta studied her. Youve reapplied
make-up, havent you?
Ochre blushed
slightly. Well, Id taken it off before,
and Im gruesome without it.
Id
disagree with that.
Ochre gave him a
hard look as he winked at her.
Havent
changed much, Mario.
Give
me a break. Last time I saw you was only yesterday.
She sighed as he
smiled broadly. What were you going to say?
You said youd tell me your problem if I told you mine.
His smile
vanished rapidly, to be replaced by an anxious look. Well
erm
Go
on
Ochre teased him, slowly blinking, a small smile on
her face.
Oh,
all right, if itll please you. Its
not really a
problem, as such, its more
well
I dont have much luck with the girls.
Ochre practically
fell off her bed laughing.
When shed
calmed herself down a little, she managed to stutter, Youve
only just noticed? Thats classic!
Elaine,
dont laugh! I cant help it!
Magenta pleaded, but he couldnt help smiling, as he watched her rock backwards
and forwards with barely suppressed mirth. At least it cheered her up.
Mario
Mario
what do you want me to do?
I
dont know. I just thought I should tell someone, and
you seemed perfect.
Ochre looked at
him, giggling. I seemed perfect? Youre
warped if you think that!
No,
I mean
whats your problem then?
He hadnt
meant to say it like that. Ochre stopped laughing right away, sat up straight
and gripped her hands together in her lap.
I
I still dont think I should tell you.
Come
on, Elaine. It helps to tell someone, even if they cant make the
situation better.
She knew he was
right again, which annoyed her. Hesitantly, she picked the photo album up off
the floor. She sat with it clasped to her chest at first, while she spoke.
Ive
been thinking about my family. What became of them. The only way I really
remember them
when
when things were getting better
is in this picture
She opened the
book and slowly flicked through it, then realised Magenta couldnt see. Ochre
got up, and sat by him.
Magenta caught
glimpses of different photos as she turned the pages. The lost Elaine. A small
child, no older than five, playing with a white plastic horse, her hair tied in
bunches. A teenager in a red halter neck top, black trousers and leather boots,
posing jokily outside a building whose brightly coloured lights illuminated the
surrounding area. A group shot of four men and a woman, all crowded round a
motorbike, the woman sitting on it with a mans tattooed arm
wrapped round her, all smiling at the camera
Here.
Ochre turned the page again. Magenta edged closer to see, but Ochre hurriedly
gave the album to him.
He smiled at the
photogenic young Ochre, before turning to her real life counterpart. You
come from a beautiful family.
Cheers.
She brushed off his somewhat sickly compliment and pointed to herself in the
photo. See? Right little saddo kid, me. Annoyed the hell
out of everyone as well. Look at my sisters arm
You
bit her?
Yeah.
Ochre laughed slightly. Frosty bitch was bossing me
around, she kept grabbing my hair and prodding me. Calling me useless. Weak. So
I bit her.
Magenta looked at
her. She smirked. I was a wild child. Minion
of Satan. Sort of. And he
She pointed to the boy. My
dear brother. Only person in the family who seemed to actually really care
about me. He was always nicking me stuff, I practically lived on sweets and
crisps for a while. I was feeling really put out at a school disco once - dont
bother asking why - and he left all his friends to come and dance with me. It
was always me and him against the world, the two Musketeers!
She thrust her fist in the air and laughed again. Magenta watched her, smiling
at the look of joy on her face as good memories came flooding back.
He waited for it
to subside, and, eventually, Ochre stopped laughing. Hiccupping slightly, she moved
closer, next to him, and grabbed an edge of the album. Without really thinking,
she leant her head on Magentas shoulder, gazing at the
photos. His smile broadened. Hed never known Ochre to do this sort of thing
before and he was quite amazed.
And
thats my mother. Heard she was gorgeous in her day, but
I never saw it. She was always tired-looking
worn out, when I
saw her. The smile slipped from Ochres
face, and she tightened her grip on the book, lifting her head up.
One
time, I remember coming home from school ill, and she was there in the kitchen,
just
crying. Ochre paused and
swallowed, then carried on, her voice breaking up.
I
didnt understand why, I was only about seven. She just
stood there, crying, and when I put my arms round her she flinched and pushed
me off. She never did like people touching her. Makes you wonder how she
managed to get pregnant three times. Ochre bit her
lip, her eyes shining. There was a pause, then she said bitterly, Why
was I so stupid? Why didnt I realise that sick
bastard had been hurting her?
Inside, Magenta
was fighting a strong urge to put both arms around her, hold her and tell her
everything was okay, but he knew he couldnt. It wasnt
strictly true, and shed beat him off anyway, even
if he was trying to help.
Instead he sat
there, occasionally glancing at her, his mind whirring as to what had happened
to Ochres mother. Her eyes had welled up and seemed in
danger of spilling.
Ochre took a deep
breath, her eyes closed. She bit her lip, then, slowly, she turned to Magenta. Mario
Yes?
He answered quietly. He couldnt quite look at her. He was
racked with guilt that he hadnt comforted her.
Will
you
will you help me please? Ochre stuttered.
As soon as she realised what shed said, she bit her tongue. No,
dont get help, dont do it.
I
will, dont worry. I mean it. Well have to see
the doctor I think. It cant be too healthy for you to
be feeling this bad. Magenta smiled sadly at
her. He reached for her hand.
No!
No, leave it! Its okay! I dont
want help! Ochre pushed herself away rapidly. Magentas
eyes widened. Her mood had changed so quickly.
Elaine,
Elaine please, calm down, youre-
I
I
Mario, just go
Ochre pulled him
to his feet and shoved him, hard, in the direction of the door. He didnt
bother protesting further. He didnt even understand
properly. Shed asked for help, now she was adamant she didnt
get it.
With a final
push, he was stumbling out into the corridor. When hed regained his
balance, he turned round to find Ochre, her hand on the door button. She looked
at him for a long time, her eyes glassy, before saying Im
sorry.
With that, she
pressed the button, and was blocked from his view.
Magenta stood there,
wondering what to do. He dithered about, walking first one way, to the Med
Campus, then the other way, to the Lounge. She needed help, she really did. He
didnt know all the details, but whatever it was, it was
obviously tormenting her. Why wouldnt she let him or
any of her other friends help?
Inside, Ochre was fighting to stop the tears that were bound to fall.
She started whispering to herself.
Stop it, stop it, Elaine. Youre stronger than this
She made her way through to the bathroom, and stopped before the small
mirror over the sink. She saw how unhappy she looked, her eyes shining, her
make up smudged, but didnt really take that it in. Instead, she thought about
how shed inherited His look. The nose, the eyes, the hair colour. All the same as Him. She loathed that fact.
Ochre leant her forehead against the cold surface of the mirror, closing
her eyes. She felt so awful. Not just for herself, but for her colleagues too.
If they had to take the brunt of her bad temper much longer, they may start to
ask difficult questions, or, worse, ignore her until her mood improved. She
couldnt let that happen. She needed them a lot right now, even if she couldnt
tell them why. She just wanted them to be there for her.
Slowly, she lifted her head from the mirror, and asked herself some
questions that she desperately needed the answers to.
Why is this happening to me? Why now? What is going on?
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