Original series Suitable for all readers

How to Tell if Your Boss is a Mysteron Agent


Guidelines By Jason Helwege




Do you ever get the feeling that your boss is a Mysteron agent?  Mysterons can be very dangerous, so use this guide to help you assess the threat.  The telltale signs:


  • Remoteness from day-to-day operations

  • Glazed facial expression

  • Perpetual 5 o'clock shadow

  • Tendency to address lower-echelon personnel as  "Earthman" (regardless of their gender)

  • Tendency to look "slightly dead"

  • Tendency to smell "slightly dead"

  • Absolute determination to never notice the Dinky SPV which you recently acquired for your desk

  • When giving me new assignments, he frequently employs he expression "relaying instructions from ..."

  • Thoroughly deserves to have been involved in a hideous monotrain wreck

  • Deepening of voice (sometimes echo is heard)

  • The ability to be heard from another part of the building without the use of an intercom or telephone

  • The ability to disappear in tight situations

  • Excessive use of binoculars

  • Making employees act against their will

  • Leaving twin coffee mug stains on important documents (or any kind of strange double-circle markings, for that    matter)

  • Continuing the "War of Nerves" by getting on yours


     If you see any of these signs from your superiors, notify Spectrum immediately!  The planet you save may be your own!




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