Guidelines By Jason Helwege
Do you ever get the
feeling that your boss is a Mysteron agent?
Mysterons can be very dangerous, so use this guide to help you assess the
threat. The telltale signs:
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Remoteness from day-to-day operations
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Glazed facial expression
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Perpetual 5 o'clock shadow
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Tendency to address lower-echelon personnel as "Earthman" (regardless of their gender)
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Tendency to look "slightly dead"
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Tendency to smell "slightly dead"
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Absolute determination to never notice the Dinky SPV which you recently acquired for your desk
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When giving me new assignments, he frequently employs he expression "relaying instructions from ..."
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Thoroughly deserves to have been involved in a hideous monotrain wreck
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Deepening of voice (sometimes echo is heard)
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The ability to be heard from another part of the building without the use of an intercom or telephone
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The ability to disappear in tight situations
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Excessive use of binoculars
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Making employees act against their will
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Leaving twin coffee mug stains on important documents (or any kind of strange double-circle markings, for that matter)
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Continuing the "War of Nerves" by getting on yours
If you see any of these signs from your superiors,
notify Spectrum immediately! The planet you save may be your own!
Any comments? Send an E-MAIL
to the SPECTRUM HEADQUARTERS site