Original series Suitable for all readers

Our Captain Limericks


A poem by Dan




Our Captain once ran through a fen

But tripped on his feet and fell in.

While in the green ooze,

He fancied a snooze,

Please contact this chap's next of kin.


*  *  *


While diving to Earth in one bound,

Our Captain tried spinning around.

One complete pirouette

Without using a net;

Before being stopped by the ground.


*  *  *


The cobra's a venomous snake

Who lurks in the sand near a lake.

When resting or sleeping

He often comes creeping,

So when you camp there; stay awake.


Our Captain has made the mistake

Of sleeping on sand near that lake.

At night someone bound him,

But old Jake has found him;

A pity that Jake is a snake.


*  *  *


-A drive with an angel-

Loudly, she yelled: "Look out bisons!"

True, but now they are sliced ones

As the brake hit the floor,

Someone flew out the door-


"Where did you get your damn licence!"


*  *  *


Our Captain was stuck in the sand,

With a thumpin' great rock on his hand

He sighed: "Woe is me,

Is this TNT?"

They buried his parts in a can.


*  *  *


While chased by a Myster'nised goat

Our Captain was thrown in the moat..

With rocks 'round his chest

And sharks at his vest,

I'm afraid that he's not going to float!


*  *  *


Our Captain was caught in a press,

Which caused the small space to grow less.

As the great spikes drew near,

He said without fear:

"They no doubt shall make quite a mess."


*  *  *


Our Captain walked into the room

With a sense of foreboding doom;

When several large crates

Containing lead weights,

Crashed down on his head with a boom!


*  *  *


The colonel one day for a prank,

Was driving to work in a tank.

And thanks to sheer luck,

As the gears went amuck,

Our Captain was there on the bank.


*  *  *


A man in a costume of red,

Was leaping for joy in a shed;

A fire then ensued

Which blackened his mood,

And singed all the hair on his head.









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