How To Tell If Your Boss Is A Mysteron Agent

Guidelines By Jason Helwege

Do you ever get the feeling that your boss is a Mysteron agent? Mysterons can be very dangerous, so use this guide to help you assess the threat. The telltale signs:

- Remoteness from day-to-day operations

- Glazed facial expression

- Perpetual 5 o'clock shadow

- Tendency to address lower-echelon personnel as "Earthman" (regardless of their gender)

- Tendency to look "slightly dead"

- Tendency to smell "slightly dead"

- Absolute determination to never notice the Dinky SPV which you recently acquired for your desk

- When giving me new assignments, he frequently employs he expression "relaying instructions from ..."

- Thoroughly deserves to have been involved in a hideous monotrain wreck

- Deepening of voice (sometimes echo is heard)

- The ability to be heard from another part of the building without the use of an intercom or telephone

- The ability to disappear in tight situations

- Excessive use of binoculars

- Making employees act against their will

- Leaving twin coffee mug stains on important documents (or any kind of strange double-circle markings, for that matter)

- Continuing the "War of Nerves" by getting on yours

If you see any of these signs from your superiors, notify Spectrum immediately! The planet you save may be your own!

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