A “Captain Scarlet & the Mysterons” story for Christmas

By Scarlet Lady

Do you believe in Father Christmas? Many people say that he doesn’t exist, and science seems to confirm this, as to get around the World in a single night he’d have to travel at an impossible speed. The reindeer, which obviously cannot fly, would explode if they were to attempt reaching and maintaining this ridiculous speed, and poor old Santa would be crushed to death by the tremendous G forces. Do you still believe?

***

“This is the voice of the Mysterons. Earthmen, we know you can hear us. The tradition shall be killed by the legend. We will be avenged.”

Colonel White called all his available members into the Conference Room, to hold an emergency meeting. He cleared his throat, after noting some of the miserable expressions in the room. “Now, I know it is only a week before Christmas, and you would all like to forget the Mysterons for a while. I would, myself, to tell the truth. However, we have a threat on our hands that must be dealt with.” He received a few half-hearted nods at that. “Now, what do we have to go on?”

“Nothing,” Scarlet remarked, a little louder than he’d intended.

White dealt him an icy glare and cleared his throat.

“I think they mean Santa Claus,” Ochre piped up.

The Colonel stared at him. “What did you say, Captain?”

“The Mysterons said about a legend - I bet they mean Santa.”

Scarlet rolled his eyes. “Rick, for your information, Father Christmas doesn’t exist.”

Ochre stared at him. “You don’t believe in Santa?”

“No.”

“Well, you must’ve been a naughty boy then!”

Scarlet glowered at him. “No, Rick. My parents just happened to tell me the TRUTH.”

“No wonder Santa didn’t visit you, if you didn’t believe, and never left anything out for him!”

Colonel White cleared his throat. “That’s enough, gentlemen. This isn’t a game.”

“I’m not joking, Sir,” Ochre told him, “I really think they might mean they’re going to use Santa. I mean, what other legend would they be able to use at this time of year?”

“There are OTHER legends, you know.” Blue piped up.

“Yeah, but I can’t see how they’d use the birth of Jesus against us.”

The Colonel nodded. “Good point.”

Captain Grey frowned. “But how many ‘Santas’ will there be in the World?”

“Uhh…” Blue tried to estimate it quickly.

“A lot.” Scarlet cut in.

“And we have to pinpoint ONE out of all of those?”

***

Captain Scarlet sighed, tiredly. He’d spent many long hours searching for a lead, and still wasn’t any closer than he had been that morning, or the day before, OR the day before that… “This is hopeless!” he muttered, losing his temper, “If the Mysterons are going to use Father Christmas, we’ll take all year trying to find the right one!”

His partner turned to him. “Paul, do you want to take a break?”

He stood, stretching. “No, I want to find something - ANYTHING.”

“I know,” Blue shook his head, “the Mysterons sure picked a hard one, this time.”

“You can say that again - but don’t.”

***

The REAL Father Christmas had loaded up his sleigh with gifts, and was just starting his long journey. Due to his magic he had the laws of physics turned off for the night. It may be for this reason that on this night, many strange and wonderful things are said to be possible.

Unfortunately for dear old Saint Nick, however, the Mysterons have some specially adapted magic of their own…

The first thing that told Santa that something was wrong was Rudolf’s nose. One minute, it was glowing brightly, as it should, and the next… it wasn’t. Then, everything seemed to return to normal, until Santa noticed that it wasn’t JUST Rudolf’s nose glowing. The glow was gradually spreading over all of him. As if that wasn’t enough, the deer exploded - BANG! Then, of course, another law of physics caught up with them - reindeer (or any other deer, for that matter) can’t fly. All at once, the sleigh - complete with glowing, exploding reindeer and gifts for the World’s children - fell from the sky. But, by the time the sleigh had hit the ground; Father Christmas was already dead. The Gs had got him.

Two green halos of light traced the bodies on the ground, carefully. Before long, there was a brand new Santa - complete with sleigh and reindeer - on his way as if nothing had happened.

***

“Colonel White,” Lieutenant Green turned to the Commander-in-Chief of Spectrum, who was standing in one of the observation tubes in Cloudbase’s Control Room.

“What is it, Lieutenant?”

“I have an emergency call for you, from the World Police.”

White returned to his desk. “What do they want?”

“They’ve found a sleigh, and nine… roasted reindeer,” he suppressed a chuckle.

“VERY funny, Green,” the Colonel glowered at him, ready to give him a lecture about wasting time with pranks.

“No, Sir, really - there REALLY is a call for you.” Green cut in, hastily.

“Alright, Lieutenant, put them through.”

At Reindeer Lake, Canada, DI Marshall stamped his feet in the snow. This wasn’t the sort of job that he enjoyed, and nor was it the sort of conditions he wanted to stand around in. He shouldn’t have been called out here in the first place - it was obviously just a stunt pulled by some moron who had nothing better to do with his time… The sound of static crackling over his radio brought him out of his reverie.

“Marshall,” the Chief of Police thundered at him.

“Here, Sir,” he replied, quickly.

“I have Spectrum on the line. Seems they want to take over your investigation.”

They can have it! “Right, Sir.”

“They’re sending out two of their best men, apparently.”

“I’ll be expecting them.”

Captain Ochre groaned for what felt like the hundredth time - which it probably was. “I can’t believe we’re doing this - I mean, it’s GOT to be a hoax!” he was piloting the SPJ carrying himself and Captain Magenta, as they made for Canada.

“What do you mean? YOU were the one who thought they meant they’d use Santa.”

“Yeah, but…” he shook his head, “it’s just TOO weird! What’s a sleigh with…” he shuddered, “reindeer bodies… doing out in the middle of nowhere like that? Who put it there?”

“I know what you mean, Captain,” Magenta nodded, “it’s as if…” he let his voice trail off, not quite sure about finishing his sentence.

Ochre chuckled. “As if the legend just came to life?”

“AND got killed by the Mysterons…” he shook his head, “you’re right - it’s a hoax.”

***

Marshall was pleased to see the Spectrum officers. He showed them all he knew (rather quickly, though he was careful not seem rushed) and waited to be dismissed, expecting Spectrum to take over entirely.

Ochre and Magenta, on the other hand, seemed in no hurry to dismiss him. They wandered around, making comments and asking questions. Magenta kicked the sleigh, thoughtfully. “How did it get here?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Marshall replied, shrugging.

“I suppose kids could’ve dragged it here for a joke?” Ochre ventured.

“I doubt anyone would go to such lengths.”

“You don’t know what Ochre’s like!” Magenta declared, laughing.

Marshall shuddered slightly. “Anyway, there is no evidence of this lot being dragged here - and they would’ve had quite a way to come. I doubt KIDS could’ve done this.”

Magenta cast his partner a questioning glance. It seemed odd that someone as skilled as Ochre should overlook such things.

The latter merely shrugged. “Hey, I was hoping for a simple answer, for once.”

“You and me both!” Marshall replied, “After all, it IS Christmas Eve.”

Magenta sighed. Best to be constructive - I don’t want to be stuck out here all night! “Anyway, something like this doesn’t just fall from the sky…”

“That’s the strange thing…” Marshall muttered.

This earned him a curious stare from both Spectrum members. “What is?” Ochre asked him.

“Well…” he scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly, “That’s what brought me and my men out here. Someone reported hearing a series of explosions, and seeing something falling from the sky.”

“A plane in trouble?” Magenta asked.

“Well, that’s what was expected, but THIS…” he gestured at the mess before them, “is all we came up with, after a careful search.”

“Sounds like a publicity stunt to me,” Ochre commented.

“WHAT publicity?” Marshall cocked an eyebrow at him.

Ochre shrugged. “I’ll get back to you…”

***

Seated at his circular desk in Cloubase’s Control Room, Colonel White listened to Captain Ochre’s report with a puzzled frown.

“Everything points to a hoax, but…”

“Yes?”

“Well, Colonel… if it’s a hoax, someone must’ve been planning it all year! It doesn’t LOOK like a hoax at all.”

“Could the Mysterons have set this up to confuse us?” White asked.

“It crossed my mind, but to what purpose would that serve them? I don’t think they’d expect us to believe it belongs to the REAL Santa…”

The Colonel nodded. “You’re right of course, Captain. I’ll call Scarlet in here and see if he can think of something we might have missed.”

“S.I.G., Colonel.”

White looked up, as Ochre cut the transmission. “Lieutenant Green…”

“Yes, Sir,” the communications officer acknowledged, quickly. He punched a button on the console before him. “Captain Scarlet, report to Control immediately,” he turned to Spectrum’s C-in-C. “He’s on his way, Sir.”

Scarlet frowned, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Colonel, but this doesn’t make sense. The Mysterons never leave false clues - whatever the situation.”

“I have to agree, Captain. Do you think this is unrelated to the Mysteron threat?”

Scarlet studied the information that had been gathered from Captain Ochre’s report. “I don’t know, Sir. Do we know who reported it?”

“I’m afraid not, though that seems to be next on the agenda.”

The Captain nodded, then blew out a sigh. “If I didn’t know better…”

“Yes?”

He shrugged, looking sheepish. “I’d probably think that that sleigh belongs to the REAL Father Christmas…”

Colonel White leant forward slightly. “What are you trying to say, Captain?”

“Well, Sir… up until recently… I didn’t believe in beings from other planets…”

“So… what you’re saying is that if the Mysterons exist, it’s highly possible that a legend can be perfectly true…”

Scarlet looked away. He knew perfectly well that this was stupid, and yet… “I suppose I do, Sir.”

“Scarlet thinks WHAT?” Magenta asked Ochre, in disbelief, once he’d relayed the conversation he’d held with the Colonel.

“And that’s not all,” he told his partner, picking through the assortment of charred reindeer bodies, broken gifts, and sleigh debris, “this can’t have been dumped here by pranksters. They’d need a massive truck to move some of this stuff. And have you noticed…” he pointed at the harness which still held the deer remains, “these deer were in the harness when they burned.”

Magenta turned an odd colour, “Ugh!”

“Yeah, but that means…” he shuddered, “unless we’ve got a very sick gang running around…”

“Who’ve worked out every detail,” Magenta added.

“Something happened to the sleigh - and deer - while they were out here…”

Marshall ran up, in time to hear the last part of the exchange. “Here’s something else…” he held up a red hat; which was trimmed with white fur about the brim. “It’s stained with blood inside. Whoever was wearing this must’ve taken a pounding.”

Ochre and Magenta exchanged glances. “Any bodies?” Ochre asked.

Marshall shook his head.

“I don’t like this…” Magenta commented, glancing about him.

“I’ll call Cloudbase,” Ochre told him, “there’s more to this than meets the eye!”

***

Meanwhile, Captain Blue was giving Colonel White a report he’d picked up from Canada. Captain Scarlet was also present, and listening in silence. “…and he told me it… it just… exploded…”

Lieutenant Green, who had been casually listening in, almost fell off his chair in a fit of laughter.

White shot him an annoyed stare, before turning his attention back to Blue. “What do you mean, Captain?”

“Just that, Sir. Mr Riley was watching his kid open a present ‘from Santa’ and it blew up!”

Green could still be heard laughing behind them.

“What’s the matter with you, Lieutenant?” the Colonel demanded, losing his patience.

“It sounds like a sick joke, Sir.”

White decided it best to ignore him. “Were there any casualties, Captain?”

“No, Sir, they were lucky. From what I gathered, Riley guessed there was something wrong, and got his kid out that way.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” White commented. He cleared his throat. “Well, Captain Blue, I take it Captains Ochre and Magenta are indeed investigating a mysteronisation…”

Blue nodded. “It looks that way, Colonel.”

“I want you, Captain Scarlet, and you, Captain Blue, to track the Mysteron Father Christmas down. I do not have to remind you that time is against us, and if the Mysterons are using him as a bomber…”

Blue shuddered, and nodded. From the report he’d just received, this Mysteron was extremely dangerous. Everyone knew that the Mysterons were cold and bloodthirsty, but who could imagine them giving children booby-trapped presents? Lieutenant Green was right – this IS like a sick joke! A look at Scarlet told him that his friend was thinking something very similar.

***

“How on Earth are we going to locate someone who doesn’t even exist?” Scarlet asked, in an irritated tone, as he and Captain Blue attempted to ride out a snowstorm in an Spectrum helicopter.

His partner turned to him with an equally annoyed expression. “If you say that once more…” Their aircraft rocked slightly as they hit turbulence, making him turn his attention back to piloting.

“Alright, alright, we’ll just have to bear with it…” Scarlet said as he ran his hand through his dark hair, “let’s not argue, Adam - it IS Christmas.”

“Yeah, and we have to stop the Mysterons from using Santa to KILL Christmas. Huh, VERY festive!” Blue muttered. “Just let me know if you detect anything,” he added, in a slightly brighter tone.

“S.I.G., Captain.”

‘Father Christmas’ was having a field day (or should I say ‘field night’?) - he’d left a bomb under every tree, along with all the presents. This was going to be TOO easy…

Just as it was beginning to look as if the Mysterons would win this round with ease, he almost collided with a helicopter that had been obscured by swirling snow.

“What the…?” Blue pulled on the controls of the plane, just avoiding a collision by inches. “Then… it’s true, then – it IS Santa Claus!”

Scarlet came out of his surprise before his partner, “No, it’s not – it’s a MYSTERONISED Father Christmas!”

“Right, you got the electron gun?”

“Of course,” he held it up.

“O.K., I’ll hold her steady so you can get him, then.”

Scarlet left his seat and went to the side door. He opened it, took careful aim and fired… but missed, hitting a mysteronised deer. “Blast!”

“Well, never mind Blitzen – just blast Santa.”

The British Captain gave his friend a strange look. “I never thought I’d hear YOU say that!” he aimed the gun again, this time hitting ‘Santa’ smack on. “Gottim!” Scarlet crowed, as Santa fell from his sleigh with a cry. He saw him swirl to the ground and vanish from view.

“Er… Paul…” Blue began, as a thought hit him.

“What is it now?”

“We’ve killed Santa Claus…”

Scarlet rolled his eyes. “Adam, you know better than that. WE haven’t killed anyone – the Mysterons murdered him, and WE destroyed their clone.”

“That’s not what I mean…” he looked away, awkwardly.

“Well?”

“So who’s gonna deliver the presents? Santa can’t.”

Scarlet groaned. He hadn’t thought of that. “I…” he tried to think of a good, simple solution but found none. “I think I’d better call Cloudbase.”

After listening carefully to Captain Scarlet’s report, Colonel White frowned as he thought hard. “Well, Captain Scarlet, I can only think of one solution…”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Spectrum will have to step in. If Christmas is ruined due to the threat, the Mysterons will have a semi victory.”

“I know, Colonel, but…”

“This is what I want you to do. Stop at each and every house – and be sure to remove parcels which look suspicious, should you see any. I’ll send out every available agent to assist you.”

“But the presents…”

“Was the sleigh destroyed?”

“No, Sir, but…”

“Then you should have no problems.”

Scarlet sighed. “But, Colonel, there’s still a problem.”

“And what’s that, Captain?”

“How do you catch a team of runaway reindeer, Sir?”

***

Captains Scarlet and Blue used their helicopter to try to catch up with the sleigh. At last, they began to make progress, as the snowstorm began to relent a bit. As Blue drew up beside the unusual aircraft, Scarlet prepared to take a death-defying leap into it.

“This is it, Captain,” Blue informed him.

“Right.”

“Good luck, Paul.”

Scarlet leapt into the bitterly cold, snow-filled air. He could barely see, and wondered whether this had been such a good idea. He felt something and grabbed at it – hanging there for a few seconds, not quite daring to open his eyes to see if he’d actually made it…

Captain Blue punched the air. “Well done, Paul!” he yelled, hardly able to contain himself. The only problem was that Scarlet had managed to lose his cap when he jumped into the open air. If anything were to go wrong for him, the British Captain could easily be lost. Blue shook the thought from his mind, and focused on the job in hand.

Scarlet realised he had grabbed the harness of the first reindeer. He carefully climbed onto the back of the animal, which tried to kick him off. “Easy, Rudolf, I don’t want to hurt you.”

The deer behind jabbed at him with his antlers. For pity’s sake! What have I got to do? He then realised that these deer had to be reconstructions, like Santa – the original ones had been reported dead. It was little wonder the deer seemed determined to get rid of him… NOW what stunt do I have to pull? He wondered, as the creatures continued to make his job all the more difficult. Grabbing the harness, he inched his way back toward the sleigh. I hope this works…

As he passed the next deer, it bit his hand with all its might. Scarlet winced, letting go of his only lifeline. This done, the deer had very little trouble to make him lose his balance. He swiftly wrapped his legs around the harness, crossing his ankles for extra support. Another jolt from the antlered beasts sent his front end slipping, so that he was hanging by his legs. For some reason, he glanced to his left and caught a glimpse of Blue’s anxious expression behind the window of the helicopter. He waved to his partner, in an attempt to reassure him, and began to move again.

Blue watched anxiously. Be careful, Paul - take it easy. As he watched, Scarlet made it to the sleigh without further mishap and picked up the reins. He could see that Scarlet was giving some sort of command, but the deer weren’t responding at all. Concerned, he decided to radio the Colonel.

“DOWN!” Captain Scarlet was losing his patience rapidly. He’d tried everything he could think of to no avail. “Come ON, for pity’s sake!”

He turned to the helicopter, in the hope that Blue might be able to help, somehow. He could see him holding up the electron gun.

He frowned. What’s he up to, now?

Putting the aircraft on auto, Blue opened the door nearest the sleigh. He gasped as the blast of cold air hit him, but then recovered himself. “Paul,” he called across, “try this!”

Scarlet frowned back at him.

He can’t hear me, he realised. He then began pointing madly at his partner, then held up his handgun, waving and pointing at it, then he gestured at the deer.

Scarlet chuckled. Blue certainly looked strange, with all his exaggerated gestures! He understood his meaning, though, and took his weapon from its holster.

Now it’s MY turn to look daft, he thought, pointing his gun at the nearest reindeer. “Alright, take us DOWN, or you’ll be for it!” To his surprise, the deer actually listened to him, this time. “Thank you.”

***

Once it was on the ground, Captains Scarlet and Blue studied the contents of the sleigh with interest. “There’s a glove compartment,” Blue pointed out, with a surprised tone.

“I should think you’d need one,” his partner commented, shivering as if to emphasise his point.

As Scarlet began to remove the parcels, in order to check them, Blue continued to ‘investigate’ the interior of the driving area of the sleigh, reminding Scarlet of a curious child. Looking inside the ‘glove compartment’, he found a piece of paper. “Look!”

“The list!” Scarlet leaned over his shoulder. “Let ME see, Adam.”

Blue shrugged and handed it over. “What’s the matter, want to see if you’re name is on it?”

Scarlet ignored the comment. “Ah-ha! He’s even ticked off the places already visited!”

His American partner turned to stare at him. “You’re kidding!”

Scarlet tapped the paper. “Not at all. What do you think? Have the Mysterons handed us something on our laps just by getting too cocky?”

Blue laughed, shaking his head. “I…” his grin vanished as he caught sight of the deer. “Paul! Out – now!”

Tucking the list into his pocket, Scarlet vaulted over the side of the sleigh and gave a yelp of pain.

“Paul!” In a flash, Blue was at his partner’s side. “You O.K.? What’s wrong?”

“Turned ankle,” he winced with pain. “Never mind that now – let’s get out of here!”

Blue nodded, and put an arm around him for support. “Right.”

They didn’t get very far before the deer exploded, one after another, throwing the two Spectrum officers to the ground.

Scarlet raised his head and turned to Blue with a worried expression. “Are you alright?”

“I’m O.K. Have you got the list?”

“Right…” he rummaged around in his pocket, “…here,” and brought out the long slip of paper.

“Great.”

Scarlet frowned as he stared at the sleigh – or the wreckage that was left, anyway. “Or NOT so great. How are we going to make deliveries with THAT?”

“We’re not. I guess we’ll have to use the helicopter, as the Colonel suggested.”

Chewing his lip, the British Captain frowned. “Won’t we wake everyone up with the noise?”

“So you’ve got a better idea, Captain?”

“Well no, but I don’t want to wake the whole world up! That’ll cause MORE problems!”

Blue rolled his eyes. “Stop making excuses!”

“But THAT’S not our only problem. What about all the gifts? I didn’t manage to rescue them all, and they might all be bombs…”

“Paul, we’ll be alright – trust me. Go take a chill pill.”

His partner sneezed and rubbed his arms. “I’m cold enough, thank you.”

***

“Is that clear, Captain Ochre?” Colonel White asked, after explaining the next step of the mission over the radio.

“I think so…” but his voice still sounded doubtful.

“It’s not exactly rocket science, Captain,” White stated with an irritated tone.

“I… no, I guess not… but this is crazy, Sir.”

“No, it is just incredibly unbelievable.”

“Yes, Sir…” he could hear the Captain clearing his throat. “We won’t let you down, Sir. The Mysterons won’t beat us – OR wreck Christmas.”

The Colonel frowned. Surely it’s the same thing? “Very good, Captain. Keep in touch.”

“S.I.G., Colonel White. Ochre out.”

The Colonel watched the yellow light on his desk go out, before turning to his aide. “Any updates from Scarlet and Blue, Lieutenant?”

***

“I’m afraid we’ve had a few problems, Colonel,” Scarlet began.

“What do you mean by ‘a few problems’, Captain?”

Scarlet let his eyes move over the smoking remains of the deer and sleigh, then the few presents that were left, and THEN the list of houses that he had to visit. “Well, I’m afraid we only have less than a quarter of the gifts, now…”

“And where are the rest? Were they Mysteron booby traps?”

“Captain Blue is checking now, Sir.”

“Well why in blazes do you only have a quarter of the gifts?”

Scarlet winced. He knew that the Colonel was rapidly losing his temper. “I’m afraid the deer decided to explode, and took most of the parcels with them – not to mention the sleigh.”

“Are you and Blue alright?”

Scarlet nodded. “We’re fine, thank you, Sir. But it means that we don’t have enough gifts, and no transport.”

“Would it be very difficult to use the helicopter, Captain?”

He hesitated, thinking hard. “No, Sir, but I don’t want to wake everyone in the tiny hours of the morning…”

“Captain, we’re beyond those considerations, now. I’m afraid we’ll have to make do with what we have.”

Scarlet sighed and gave in. “I suppose so, Colonel.”

“As for the presents…”

“Yes, Sir?” he asked, hopefully.

“Why don’t you try flying to the North Pole, to get more?”

Scarlet wasn’t quite sure about how he should answer that. Was the Colonel mocking him? No, surely not. It wasn’t the time for it. He was frighteningly serious. Shrugging, Scarlet merely said, “S.I.G., Sir,” and ended the call.

Blue looked up. “You sure had a long talk with the old man. What did he say about our problem?”

His partner looked away. “He’s flipped…” he mumbled.

“Paul?”

“I think he’s finally lost it. He just told me to go to the North Pole and ask for more parcels.”

Blue groaned. “Why didn’t I think of that? Of course! The elves can help us out…”

“You can’t be serious!”

***

Locating the ‘North Pole’, where Father Christmas was said to live was strangely easy enough, since it was supposed to be an elusive location. In other circumstances, both Captains Scarlet and Blue would have been worried at the easiness of their mission – not to mention the strangeness of it. It was Christmas Eve, after all. And they had already witnessed more than their share of strange things.

So what could possibly be stranger than a real-life elf, looking up at them with wide, confused eyes?

“I’m sorry… WHAT did you say happened to Santa Claus?” Blue shot his partner a glance that said; don’t lose your temper, Paul.

Scarlet sighed, in an attempt to calm himself. “We’ve already explained. Father Christmas was mysteronised – taken over by the Mysterons to…”

Blue cleared his throat. “The thing is, the gifts were kinda… lost… and now there’s nothing to give the children of the world.”

“NOW I understand. Do you want some replacements?”

Scarlet frowned, wondering why the elf didn’t seem to give his boss a second thought. His partner didn’t seem to notice, however…

“Yes please – if that’s possible,” Blue replied, enthusiastically.

The elf sighed. “Well, now, there might be a problem there. It took us all year to prepare those gifts.”

“But… but you’re MAGIC!” Scarlet began.

The elf grinned at him. “Ah, so you still believe in magic, eh?”

The captain looked away, his face flushing. After what he had seen tonight…

“Well, I’m glad of that – you’re going to need that faith.”

Scarlet and Blue exchanged puzzled glances. “Er… why?”

“How could you possibly deliver the gifts, if you have no faith?” he chuckled, as he led the Captains to the gift stores.

“But… there’s nothing here!” Scarlet exclaimed, staring at the rows of empty shelves.

“Well, fancy that! It’s all gone!”

Finally losing his temper, Scarlet grabbed the elf by the scruff. “Now listen to me,” he said through clenched teeth, looking him right in the eyes. “I’ve taken about all I can stand. Are you going to help us, or allow the Mysterons to ruin Christmas?”

The elf chuckled. “Calm down, sonny! As you said before, we have magic on our side. Now, look inside the next room.”

Scarlet did as he was told, though he couldn’t help wondering whether he was only being given the run-around. He gasped as he looked around him. Upon these shelves were row upon row of parcels, toys and sacks. “Adam! Look at this!”

“I am,” Blue answered, from just behind him.

The deputy head elf joined them. “These are supposed to be our start on next year,” he explained. “Not much, I’m afraid, but a small start for you.”

“SMALL START?” Scarlet turned to stare at him. “But THESE are far too much for our little helicopter!”

“Helicopter? HELICOPTER?” The elf laughed at him. “I should think so!”

“Then what can we do?” Blue asked, staring at the heaps of gifts.

“Leave it to me,” the elf advised, handing them each a sack. “Just take these, and prepare your helicopter – we elves will see to the technicalities.”

“You call this ‘technicalities’?” Blue protested. “Whatever you do, we will NEVER be able to deliver all those presents before the night is over!”

“Father Christmas does it every year,” the elf reminded.

“But WE’RE not HIM!”

The elf grinned again. “Ah, but you’ve STILL got magic on your side! It’s how it’s done, sonny: through magic. Trust me. And due to time zones, you have about thirty-one hours – that’s a long night!”

***

Captain Magenta contacted Cloudbase. “Colonel, we’re ready to assist Captains Scarlet and Blue.”

“Thank you, Captain,” Colonel White’s voice replied. “Have you heard from them, yet?”

“No, Sir, not yet. Captain Ochre and I have managed to salvage the presents which weren’t damaged, though.”

“Were there many?” the Colonel asked, in a surprised tone.

“Not as many as either of us would have hoped, I’m afraid, Sir.”

“That can’t be helped, Captain. You did your best, I’m sure.”

***

“Well, that’s the helicopter sorted, Captain Blue,” Scarlet called, as he poured a load of antifreeze over the rotors.

“Right,” his partner replied, “I’ve put the sacks in the back, but I don’t know what good THEY’LL do…”

The elf chuckled. “Tell me, sonny, have you ever heard of the feeding of the 5000?”

Scarlet climbed off the helicopter, carefully. “I’ve heard of it, but…”

“Yes?” The elf looked up at him with curiosity.

“Jesus was the Son of God. Spectrum officers are only human.”

The elf chuckled. “Ah-ha! But you’re not in control, here – we are!”

Scarlet felt a little uneasy as the elf grinned at him. He cleared his throat and turned to Blue. “Do we have everything?”

“What about this?” the elf asked, handing Scarlet an extra large packet of salt.

“What would we want with this? I doubt we’ll have much time to stop for lunch, somehow.”

“You never know when that might come in handy – it melts ice.”

Scarlet rolled his eyes, threw the near-empty can of antifreeze and packet of salt into the cockpit of the helicopter and jumped in. “Come on, Adam.”

Blue turned to the elf, shaking his hand. “Thanks for everything.”

“Don’t mention it.” As he watched, Blue clambered aboard the helicopter and started the engine. The elf smiled and waved them off.

***

“Right, Adam, take us down,” Captain Scarlet instructed, as they arrived at the first house on their list.

“S.I.G., Captain,” Blue replied. He could see why his partner hadn’t been keen on using their helicopter, now. It was going to be difficult to hover above the house – neither of them wanted to land up there – without waking anybody.

“See you in a minute, Adam. Hold her steady.”

“Hey! Who said YOU get to do this bit?”

The British Captain looked at the chimney and winced. “Alright, if you want to break something, squeezing down that tiny hole, I have no objection.”

Blue followed his gaze. “Well… if you’re gonna put it THAT way…”

Scarlet rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh. “What am I supposed to do with this sack, anyway?”

“Don’t tempt me, Paul.”

Blue watched his partner scramble into the chimney, pulling the sack behind him. Rather him than ME!

Captain Scarlet frowned. I’d never realised chimneys were like this! I pictured a straight passage from the fireplace to the rooftop – this has lots of passages, twists and turns, like a maze… I just hope I don’t get lost, or stuck…he almost cried out as some old coal was dislodged by his boots, making him slip a little way. You’d think they’d at least sweep their chimney for Father Christmas! On the other hand, I would have expected it to be a small, cramped passage… It isn’t THAT bad!

When he finally reached the bottom, he scrambled out of the fireplace and dusted himself off. Now, where’s the sack? He pulled it out and got to work, knowing that Blue would probably be wondering what was keeping him.

He pulled out the gifts – there were more in the sack than he’d thought possible – and heaped them under the tree. He smiled and turned to make his way back up the chimney, when his eye fell on a plate of mince pies and a glass of sherry. Well, that’s very thoughtful! His smile broadened. I suppose it would be rude to leave it…

“How was it?” Captain Blue asked, as his partner scrambled aboard the helicopter.

“The chimney was filthy, and I almost went the wrong way…” Scarlet grumbled. He smiled, suddenly, and licked his lips. “But it was worth it.”

Blue gave him an odd look, shrugged and took off.

***

They stopped at the next house. Scarlet looked through the sacks, carefully. “Which one should I take with me?”

Blue sighed. “How should I know? Try looking for a label, or something.”

“There’s nothing on…” the Brit stopped, and stared at one of the sacks. Tied to it, there was a little gold label, which said: ‘This one, stupid!’

“That’s not amusing, Adam.”

“Huh? What isn’t?”

“Never mind.” Scarlet pulled the sack over his shoulder, leapt from the helicopter, and made his way to the chimney. The sack was rather heavy, and on this occasion he almost fell off the roof with the extra weight. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so easy, after all…

Once he’d got to the chimney, it was tempting to chuck the sack down and be done with it… but of course, that’s not right. And so, he carefully wriggled down the chimney, with his bulging sack of gifts. However, this house was going to be a little difficult. For starters, the family’s dog – who obviously sensed something wrong – began to bark and growl, waking the man of the house.

“Psssssst…” Kevin Hawker woke his wife, quickly. “Jan, quick – someone’s downstairs!”

“Oh, Kev!” she stared at him with alarm.

“Shhh! Don’t disturb the kids. You phone the police – I’ll see to our uninvited guest…”

“Be careful, then,” she warned him. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

Kevin grabbed one of his safety boots and made for the door. “Don’t worry.”

Scarlet heaped the presents under the tree with care. He was wary of the dog, who stood behind him to ensure that he wasn’t there to steal anything. The constant growling was a strong indication that the Captain’s presence was far from welcomed.

CREAK! Scarlet jumped. Someone’s moving upstairs! Blasted dog!

Footsteps sounded on the stairs.

How does Father Christmas cope with a job like this? Scarlet tried to shove the rest of the gifts under the tree before someone found him there.

“Oi, you!” Hawker growled, as he found the Captain digging into the sack. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Scarlet sighed, tiredly. “Sir, I’ve had a long night,” he began.

“I should think you have!”

He thinks I’m a thief! Scarlet thought, in dismay.

“What’s in the sack, then? Silver? Money?” Hawker asked, carefully, as if to prove him right.

“I haven’t a clue, to be honest. These are gifts…”

“Oh, that’s a good one! You’re stealing presents from under the tree!”

Scarlet clenched his jaw. “I do NOT steal!”

“Of course not – you BORROW, don’t you?”

Taking a present from the sack, he gave it to the man. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, Mister… Mister…”

“Hawker. But perhaps you should tell me who YOU are…” he looked the Captain up and down, “And those are interesting clothes – what happened, then? Couldn’t you get a Santa suit in your size, so you chose to wear a Spectrum officer’s uniform instead?”

“This is MY uniform, Sir. I AM a Spectrum officer – I’m Captain Scarlet.”

“Right. And you’re playing Father Christmas!”

Scarlet pulled out the remainder of the gifts, and slung the sack over his shoulder. “I’ve already told you – you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Then you’ll have to tell your story to the police.”

Oh NO! That’s the LAST thing we need!

Seeing the expression on the Captain’s face, Hawker chuckled. “Don’t want to go inside again, eh?”

Scarlet tensed. He didn’t have a criminal record, and wished that this man would stop jumping to conclusions. Why couldn’t one of the children have come down, instead?

As if that wasn’t enough, his epaulettes flashed blue. His partner’s voice came over his pocket radio loud and clear. “When Santa got stuck up the chimney, he began to shout…”

“Stop it, Adam,” Scarlet hissed.

“You’re not REALLY stuck, are you?” Blue’s concerned voice asked him.

“No, not exactly. Uhh… the man of the house thinks I’m a thief…”

“Right. I’m coming down.”

“WHAT? You CAN’T leave the helicopter on the roof! It wouldn’t support the weight!”

“Who are you talking to?” Hawker demanded with annoyance.

“My partner, Sir. Would he be able to land his helicopter on your driveway?”

“No, he can NOT land the he… hel… HELICOPTER? You have a helicopter? If you have enough money to own a helicopter, WHY are you stealing from under my tree?”

Scarlet rolled his eyes. “Captain, land on the driveway, if you can.”

“OI! I just said…”

“S.I.G., Captain Scarlet. See you in a minute,” Blue’s voice replied, ending the conversation.

Hawker glared at him in fury. “Let me get this straight… you have a helicopter…”

“That’s right.”

“What are you using THAT for? It’d give you away!”

Scarlet sighed, tiredly. “We are using a helicopter because we can’t use anything else. A plane won’t… is no good, and a car isn’t fast enough…”

A knock at the window interrupted them.

“That should be my partner,” Scarlet informed Hawker.

“If that’s your partner, why can’t I hear the helicopter?”

Scarlet groaned, as he realised that he couldn’t hear the helicopter, either. “Would you give me a moment?” Without waiting for an answer, he contacted Captain Blue.

“Yes, Captain Scarlet? What’s keeping you?”

“Ad – Captain, where are you?”

Captain Blue rubbed his arms in an attempt to warm himself. “Where do you think I am? Out on the driveway.”

“And… where have you put the helicopter?”

He frowned. “Paul, what’s wrong with you? The helicopter is out here – couldn’t you hear it?”

“Well, as a matter of fact…”

“You have GOT to be kidding me!” he shook